the death march

one foot in front of the other
day after grueling day
my time marches behind me with a gun to my back
looming larger and larger
as we all walk towards the abyss

billions and billions of us marching together
each desperately clutching at whatever nourishment presents itself
some shove others out of the way, or ride on their backs
some hold out helping hands and lend their shoulders for support
and some just shrug their shoulders, and lie down

while falling is inevitable
how we march in the face of its inevitability expresses our truest selves

when we have time to look up, the views can be incredible
when we connect, our love makes everything worthwhile

but my dreams feel like someone small standing before a massive wall

i wake up each morning to the sound of the beating drums of the times
the thudding of my heart in my ears as i try to watch my footing and escape my worries about the future
live my gratitude, because acknowledging it is not enough
never enough
just like everything else

being in control of our destiny isn't necessary for a good life
but having a sense of control is crucial
as i find myself compulsively putting one foot in front of the other
watching myself drag my feet

i think
"i need to learn to dance".