fisher king's wasteland

butterfly a slow and heavy start then freshly brightened up zipping and zapping all around until settling in for the long road to a better place... comfortable for a distance sends love --- telephone garland sometimes from far away to express my feelings a well, a spring, of love, to you, is tough ten years with me over here and still i do not feel that i am far away, alone thank you you don't seem to find that it's hard to deal with my... mistakes... but i'm glad that you do you rock how do you keep your heart ready to receive my distant, disembodied being always? what is your driving force? what makes you tick, keeps you optimistic, and powerful? keep strong sometimes with me over here it's hard to deal with my distant, disembodied being keep strong ---- the boss skilled men know when to bow to your unwavering clear thoughts and direction you're good

squeezing my brain 'til tiny, delicate droplets of thought trickle warm down deep into my spinal tissues, folds and crevasses thick, static, protected from reality and raging storm the whistling wind's sweet lullaby and i under clean sheets after hot shower

when our big brothers come back after five thousand years they will be angry "it took billions of years to make all these creatures to build ecosystems that we could call kingdoms and all you little pricks had to do was to look after them, but for a few" perhaps we will be lucky and they will banish us scatter us to the cosmos perhaps not, and they will leave

staring at my clockwork pieces sadly, awkwardly strewn around me little, disjointed me pushed and pulled and stretch and squashed the breaking smooth a little shock and a laugh at a time until the laughter is all gone now the children stand amidst my ruin picking me over for parts to play with [ original post ]

too late i realize that i have shared all with some bricks in the wall too late i remember i remember myself my right to righteousness that difference that gulf between fear and life those still stumbling in the dark cannot find purchase with their chains they cannot understand what they cannot touch [ original post ]

i wake up once again into this dream the one where i remember that i used to love for a few brief moments i grow back my eyes and my heart and my teeth this time it will be different this time i shall remember i will not let slip, nor slide nor let anyone else in to pull me back i wake up once again into this dream the one where i remember that i used to rage for a few brief moments i grow back my fists and my heart and my teeth i shall not let slip, nor slide i wake up once again into this dream the one where i remember that i used to cry for a few brief moments i grow back my eyes and my heart and my mind i cannot let slip, nor slide i wake up once again [ original post ]

we stand and talk each voice equal of love and hate of hope and fear we talk equal, voices drowning out noises of love and hope drowned by those of hate and fear talking, words without base nor image, nor manifest in defiance of our rendering glassy-eyed lisp and stutter mouths purging, swarms of flies cloud and buzz angrily not venturing from empty caverns incapable of imprisoning them we stand and talk in the power of our loving, hating, hopeful, fearful flies our slack speech building chaotic, despotic worlds which we despise, yet like deep pools of dread-cold water we dive into die into from giddy, angelic heights we stand and we talk flying and falling soaring and sinking spinning tumbling swimming and bathing in words [ original post ]

you came running to me all bandages and broken with your spear to your heart and that heart's ache unspoken with my curse on your lips caused by unseeing eyes your death song, keening, wailing suffer i for love's disguise your nostrils are flared and your eyes are rolling your heart all aflutter, making you dance and sing your head's in the gutter, you must have your fling because self-deception is a wonderful thing

i don't want to be friends with you but i do want to let you know that i like your shirt it speaks to me, i get it so in a sense i get a small part of you not enough for more than a shared smile of acknowledgement to let you know that you're not alone that your taste is good but i sit quietly instead, watch you walk past afraid that my smile will be misunderstood the smile - is it really the same in every language?

pounding slashing needling in invading every intimate nodule surrounding my brain not the deep insides though so i can put on the appearance of a functioning human being just the outsides in that safe space between scalp and skull that's where it's hiding incessantly distracting squeezing my eyeballs from behind so that pushing them in brings painful, tearful relief while the aggressor slips and slides away, round to the sides that human hands aren't made to hold

as we stand on the island in the middle of the busy road as you stab me with your finger accusing me - me! for the silent, worrying walk

behind old, crusty, crufty facades spalling, spilling over into the calm air above the quiet street ancient colours tinged as softly pink as the background sky as i walk by in wonder stealing glimpses at the great nothing that embraces us all

higgledy piggledy, oh, the great George Lucas filling our universe with laser beams then he destroyed it all with midichlorians phantomly menacing all of our dreams

the oppression of confused weather and sleepless days the restlessness of excess choice lending bitter aftertaste to the frustration of imprisonment the bindings of my sensitivities no less cutting than the chords of ignorance false harmonies less false than those truths emboldened turning pride to shame, a gilded shade of glory glistening in the dazzling lights of the parade that i'm too tired to whoop for

like magma, mankind's spirit lying deep beneath the surface not appearing until stressed by some great tectonic movement motions of the world above cannot affect it, cannot heat it, cannot shift it; cannot plumb it but when those imperial, impartial shifts and shudders start runs streaming uphill in excited anticipation, heaving tremulously with ponderous explosive force smothering the heavens with ashes and burying the cities of the gods. and when the underlying movements settle down, so does the heat and the intensity of this great underworld spirit, so do the lands above become greener and all the more beautiful for the destruction that has arisen from below. currents of magma swirl and clash and mingle and heave, currents dragging aeons in their wake, barely containing their potential and simmering, simmering, bubbling, bubbling, until now, with great surge, charging forth, erupting, tearing itself apart, pushing and scraping, screaming voicelessly, pra...

sleek, shiny, crisp, nipped, tucked, patched, ribboned on a corner with an envelope attached "happy birthday!" shouts the note and "i love you" underlined with a sweet yet cautious wish all most cleverly signed and rhymed then with fingers all a'trembling tearing wrapping all apart hoping that it's what you wished for cause the wrapping's lost its art

i have sold my soul to pay for my crimes to live out my days with pure reason, without rhyme wearing my woolly coat i snuck into the flock to bump and chow and bleat to the beat of a shepherd's clock while my teeth become blunted my eyes remain sharp while my neighbours are scared they know not of what my brethren behold me shake their heads disbelieving convinced that it's only myself i'm deceiving i watch them with envy as they play with their claws and i salivate as fresh blood drips from their jaws i laugh bitterly as sheepdog chases his tail with self-loathing i placate him with compliance and wail and forget myself and run circles and back despising my comrades, but my brothers must eat i ruminate on my dispo(sit/ssess)ion, contemplating the wisdom of that earlier decision hiding tears of anguish while i quietly languish my pack awaits, i pine i dream wolf-dreams intermittently my eyes do shine for one day my task will be don...

johnny's a bit slow, can't tie his own laces so give him velcro instead he can't handle a knife and a fork let him eat with his hands our johnny will never go very far maybe just as far as the local pub he'll never be a shining star nor president of the debate club the poor kid just couldn't manage to read so put him in front of the telly he'll always be a little short on love he thinks he knows what he deserves and anyone can use a gun [ original post ] any monkey can pull a trigger. not every monkey can communicate. what can we expect from a country where education is replaced by laws or religion (which is the same thing, really)? what have we done to ourselves?

The light shone strangely into the dark study, not quite through the open window through which no breeze stirred. Its shadows crept too eagerly over the desk, the chair, the books - too intimately did they clutch at the bare legs of the bowed, shrunken figure lurking in the doorway, fumbling for the switch. A shadow with a shaky, husky voice loudly, derisively broke into the soft intimacy of the scene: "What is it now? It's the middle of the night, and here you are wandering about the house without any clothes on! It won't be any wonder if you catch cold - why don't you get back to bed? Your clattering's making it tough to sleep!" "H-h-he stole my PANTS!" wheezed the emaciated wrinkle back at his wife, "we should call the police!" "Dear, dear, now you're having delusions. Nobody stole anything, and I can't for the life of me guess at what you think you've been up to. Now stop fooling around and get back into bed!...

buzzing flying wheeling across the city around and inside, then straight through like a knife home electrified by a quiet moment illicit, in the flickering light of a broken doorway framing an awkward, passionate exchange between strangers lovers dripping sugary sweet

initializing providing interface user input detected user recognized user authorized initiate exchange with reservations wait 100 seconds open new threads for all applications add 1 second response time to each mouseclick corrupt random bit sequences of open documents maintaining low-grade network interference if typing speed increases rapidly, open unrelated dialog switch control and shift functions enable microphone activate recording software place exclusive lock on current application redirect soft reboot to send saved speech file to recipients on master email address list shutdown pc deny soft reboot

i've been here a while, and i've heard many interesting things. more than you, at least. i speak every language, i accept every belief; i put up with your nonsense in silence. yet you insist on rubbing your arse on me, even when i'm only here to support you. i don't like big butts, yet you pretend that you can't hear my squeals. i hold out my hands to hold up your books and your laptops, and you complain that i don't do it right, or spitefully pour out your coffee on me, or at my feet. you smash your feet into my back, grinding my bones and rubbing your grimy soles on my most tender spots. i can't even identify half the stuff you've stained me with. you disgust me. ... pssst! hey! steps! help me out here? give 'em a buzz? trip 'em up a bit? thanks, mate. i owe you one.

you can't be hopeful all the time you can't just let it flow you're not the best, you're not sublime you're the biggest jerk i know don't you learn? don't you see? the world's bigger than you or me your impact's tiny, no-one cares the only thing you'll earn are stares why're you wasting all your time? thinking big, at cost of small your efforts are mere pantomime no-one wants to hear your call stretch yourself until you disappear leave us with our consciences clear save your strength, and all your trouble we're happy here, inside this bubble shut your mouth, no - shut your ears cease your judgements, just believe we're doing it right, we shed no tears if you don't like it then just leave put on your suit, pick out your tie then cut your hair, prepare to lie now beg at your terminal, wave to the boss life's a serious thing, where your gain is your loss

you are amazing such shiny, big teeth the whole world exists just for you not cursed with original thoughts not distracted by concerns of others filled with pride, and volume and You You You i crown you, with thank yous [ context ]