your brown, greasy locks, make me think of a moose
your pants are too tight and your shirt is too loose
your lips are too glossy, your cheeks the wrong shade
your eyeliner's smeared and your breath reeks of raid
your bare, winter legs shout "i wanna get laid"
your implants show us you've been curved on a grade
the only thing not 'round your neck is a noose
your sweater's too fluffy, you look like a goose
you flutter your eyelids and expect to be paid
with your nose in the sky, through the city you wade
ignoring the world as you wobble your rear
but your act, not your face, is what makes people jeer
is there someone who loves you, is faithful and cares?
who won't find it funny when you fall down the stairs?